The Art of Possibility

At long last, I completed the Art of Possibility this afternoon.  I drank the book in over the last month and a half, reflecting on the stories and practices of the book.  I have a picture in my mind of ‘the time it should take to finish a book.’  This did not match.  Or maybe that picture is based on a measurement of my performance, rather than what was wanted and needed.

I had coffee (tea actually) with a long time friend last night at Coffee Bean in Irvine.  I drank African Sunrise from what appeared to be a glass, beer mug, though it was not frosted.  My friend aptly pointed out that I do not have the insight into my own story that I might think or wish I did.  (I have a tendency to take my own insights very seriously).  His comment stuck with me in that I often do not have the same visibility as others do into my actions.  Those that know me well can affirm that I have better visibility with others than I often do with myself.  Blind spots are just that.  I’ve got em.  And relationships are the best way to get visibility on them – no amount of compulsive studying or reflection can give the same feedback.

In the spirit of this book, I have enjoyed entering into new spacious conversations with others.  Offering them space to say ‘what is so’ for the relationship.  I’ve enjoyed the power to speak into a new context of relationship that involves partnership, rather than isolation and mutuality, rather than one-ups-manship.

I’m thankful for this read and anticipate to continue to enlist its practices as a vehicle that defies the world of measurement/comparison and launches US into a universe of possibilities.

In Silence You Scream

In silence you scream

Your heart rages against those closest

How much more does your heart

Rage against the One?

How do you engage a raging man?

Do you gain his trust by force?

It is by desire that man must approach

Peace with the One.

a poem

Being the Board

“You ask yourself, in regard to the unwanted circumstances, ‘Well, how did this get on the board that I am?’ or, ‘Now, how is it that I have become a context for that to occur?’  You will begin to see the obvious and then the not-so-obvious contributions of your calculating self, or of your history, or of earlier decisions that landed you where you are, feeling like a victim.  This reflection may bring forth from you an apology that will knit back together the strands of raveled relationships.  And then you will be standing freely and powerfully once again in a universe of possibility.”

~ Roz Zander, The Art of Possibility

Lately, I’ve been considering the ‘DNA’ of my leadership.  Do you know what I mean?  It is the cumulative impact I have with others.  It is the feedback I get from others.  It is the hits on my blog, it is the responsiveness/unresponsiveness of others to my invitations.  It is…a form of feedback.

Wine Appreciation

The coach of a recent seminar I attended posed the question, “Do you know what the difference is between someone who drinks wine and someone who appreciates it?”  The question lingered as our academy group wondered at his question.  Our coach went on to explain that someone who drinks wine does just that – they drink it.  Someone who appreciates wine, on the other hand, can tell you much more.

Those who appreciate wine are familiar with nuance.  They may be able to identify the year, the wood in which it was fermented and the vinter.  They may describe the various flavors and aromas that fill the glass as they swirl the wine in their mouth.  Wine lovers talk about ‘legs’, which describes the viscosity of the wine as it drips down the sides of their glass.

Living in Abundance: Time

A couple of years ago, my wife and I held annual passes to Disney’s theme parks.  They worked great for an adventurous date night.  After a meal, we would head over to the parks to walk around, talk and get on a ride or two.  There was no pressure to see everything in one day!  Or frustration about waiting in a long line.  We simply enjoyed each other’s company.

Sometimes, I wish life were that easy.  Frequently, I find myself rushing to ‘the next thing’.  Tired of waiting in lines, and generally scattered in a crowd.  Seems like I never accomplish ALL the tasks on my to-do list.  Strange how I can hold myself in contempt for not doing all the things that I think I should do – like have an empty email box, make progress on my writing, marketing my business, etc.  Does the list ever end?