jpmurad

Getting to ‘Yes’

In Onward on August 28, 2008 at 6:52 am

“How was the seminar?” Lindsay asked as she leaned into her new merlot pilows on the love seat.  I leaned forward from the lazy boy, bracing myself.  I could not help feeling convicted to make a change.  I told her about the co-worker who commented about my ‘checked out’ appearance, my mind having checked out of the hotel conference room.  Apparently, it had decided to walk out of the hotel, across the street to the harbor and was crossing the green, Bermuda grass to the sand.  I had decided to leave the corporate world to be a writer; the writer that I know I am.  But, how would Lindsay take it?

I let her know that I would like to give notice at my job, burning the ships like Cortez.  I would face the difficult reality of making it without corporate luxuries, delicate medical benefits and mundane office conversations.  I wanted to apply my energy, my abilities and my strength toward a real risk.  I had become ‘metaphorically’ plump in my cubicle chair, longing for a spontaneous stroll for lunch into a place across the street.  Lindsay listened to my account peacefully and announced that she was at peace with the timing.  She gave me two conditions; waiting to leave until my 2 year retirement vesting kicks in (November), and that I maintain a part-time job with some income during my time of exploration.

Just like that it was done.  The conversation was all but over.  I, perhaps we, sat basking for a few minutes as if under the sun for the first time.  I was excited and terrified.  But, the excitement far outweighed the terror!  I would have to make it on my own in the brave new challenge.  On the other hand, I would not be alone.  I hope in God’s provision as I step out on faith.  The scary thing about stepping out to write was that I have the authority to do it!  Had I depended on the resistance so long?  I half expected a battle with Lindsay.  This time the doors were open.  Perhaps doors that my fears had prevented me from knocking on.

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