Soldier Crawl

In Desert Faith on January 10, 2009 at 12:41 am

A few minutes to midnight and I cannot quite find a restfulness to be able to sleep.  Today was a restless day indeed.  I found the urgency to write about three pages.  It feels like squeezing out a story.  Occasionally, I am confused by this.  I hear others describe their passion as being totally invigorating.  To be quite honest, writing feels like doing a soldier’s crawl into enemy territory.  I feel this impending awareness that ‘I am not supposed to be here.’

Perhaps after these initial battles have been fought, I will have more confidence with my passion.  Right now, I seem to be fighting for my stand.  I am pleased to report that emails have been flowing much more freely through my inbox — a feat I am hoping to continue throughout the year.  It is an expression of freedom, being dynamic and agile.  Boldly declaring that I can (and will) move forward.  Delete!

Onward.  The writing life has involved much reading for me.  Right now, I am 2/3 of the way through Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, the story of an American expatriate living in post WWI Paris, who takes a fishing trip to Spain.  He also watches the bulls race.  It is interesting how Hemingway tells the story by ‘showing’.  I enjoy Hemingway though his work reminds me of a newspaper writer telling a story.  That said, I cannot bring myself to sit down and read the OC Register.  Perhaps, I reach a quota of newspaper words for the day.

This is my writing life.

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